Chaos in Heaven

Somewhere up in Heaven, two of the most powerful gods, G-man and Brahma have assembled.

G-man: So, are we clear? We are to pitch in a proposal to Lalit Modi that Heaven gets an IPL tea, next season?

Brahma: Yes. I have been personally assured by Lalit that the "Heaven Stairways" shall be there in the IPL-4. Since the earthlings have implied that Sreesanth is God, it is imperative that we, the Gods finally prove once and for all who the Gods are!! We have a reputation to uphold after all.

G-man: But who will own the team?

Brahma: I personally think your son Jesus should be the owner. The sheer merchandising potential will be huge if Jesus agrees. We will decide about the ownership with the other Gods. Apollo said that he can do it as he already has hospitals named after him and all that. The Apsaras have been contacted. They are ready to be the cheerleaders.

G-man: Excellent.

Suddenly Jesus comes barging in.

Jesus: We have a huge problem father.

G-man: What happened my Son?

Jesus: *points the finger at Brahma* St. Peter went to another one of your brother Shiva's parties. He got stoned and was seen watching Apocalypse Now repeatedly and screaming: "Mindfuck ho gya behenchod!"

G-man: Lord! Brahma, keep a leash on Shiva won't you?

Brahma: Look. I tried. Ever since Marley and him got together, he has been unstoppable.

G-man: *to Jesus* So what happened?

Jesus: St. Peter's gat have been left unguarded for a day now.

G-man: Lucifer Damn it!

*Suddenly a voice*


"Hello Gaad! I yam a gaad myan! I come fraam the land of gaad men. you may remember me from such cinematic classics as: Gaad man meets yactress and Gaad man meets yactress part2: Gaads must be crazy. I have been told that i have been called the Paris Hilton of Gaad men. Wilbur Sargunaraj has recorded a song about me called: "Mummy, Daddy, I want a Gaad man" "

G-Man: *facepalms* *Looks at Brahma* Can you do something about this?

Brahma: *nodding all five heads in the negative* Sorry brother. This one is all yours.

G-man: Jesus my boy, take him to the Catholic Priests rehabilitation ward.

Jesus: All right Father *exit Jesus*

Another Voice: You are the one who set the bees on me, the glorious and all powerful Fuhrer of the Dalits. I have this report by my DIG: "How the fuck shall i know who set the motherfucking bees on you crazy woman? Go ask God"

G-man: *blinks twice*

Brahma: Good lord woman! What is that garland? It is larger than the bloody Sand Worms of Arrakis. Wait..... Is that made out of money?

*Bass line of Pink Floyd's Money is heard in the background, Shiva is heard shouting "7/4 FTW!"*

Voice: Yes you God of the evil conspiring Brahmins, it is money. My doting followers have made it for me. Thalaivar of the Dalits i am.

Brahma: *blinks* Shiva, Shiva!!!

Shiva: Yo Bro! Wazzup?

Brahma: Take her to one your parties will you.

Shiva: Cool Bro! I have some wicked weed. Come on lady-man thingy.

Voice: You sure this is not a Brahmanical conspiracy to undermine the Dalits?

Brahma: Just go!

*exit Maya and Shiva*

G-man: Tell me again why we thought it would be fun to create the humans?

Brahma: Because we were bored. Look. If we did not create the humans, would we hear the magical donkey like bray of Rahul Mahajan on national television? Would we ever hear Ravi Shastri give a verbal blowjob to Lalit Modi every single match of the IPL? Would we ever experience Danny Morrison and the double-d's? Could we enjoy Rehman Malik blaming India for his irregular bowel movement? Could we see people giving Dildos to hockey? Could we see #mpartha and #princesssheeba trend on twitter? could we........

G-man: Enough. I get the point. But I still maintain, we would have done better without the humans.

Brahma: Well i like them.

*phone rings*

G-man: Hello? This is the alpha and the omega.

Voice: Hello! We are calling from MRF. You know that MRF is at the forefront of uber cool technology for years.

G-man: You make tires right?

Voice: Yes we do! But we also make exceptional Indian fast bowlers like Sreesanth. And now, we present the wonderful, MRF blimp. Would you, God, want one hanging around in the skies of heaven?

G-man: Why would i want that?

Voice: Look. Danny Morrison swears on his double d's that the MRF blimp is the most uber awesome blimp. Far more uber awesome than the Hindenburg. Or Led Zeppelin for that matter.

G-man: First of all Led Zeppelin is a band. And second tell Danny Morrison to take Shivamani's water beating drum sticks and to shove it up his ass. Good bye.

G-man: Stupid humans.

Brahma: Chill brother. Do you want one of Shiva's special joints?

G-man: I don't smoke thank you.

Brahma: Whatever floats your...... Wait. What the fuck is that atrocious noise?

G-man: Yes. What is that?

Brahma: Narada! Narada!

Narada: Yes my Lord?

Brahma: What is that noise?

Narada: It's music actually... come and see for yourself.

Goes to the scene of the music.

"Yo! Yo! Yo! this is your main man KisenG yo! Who da man brothers? you got it right. It be the Mao"

Brahma: Who is that?

Narada: That is is KisenG. Gangsta rappa and supreme Maoist!

Brahma: *facepalm*

KisenG: Yo! Nigoods!!! Welcome me homie Kobad G. And this be me hoe Arunp-dhati. She be the God of small thing a ding dings Yo!

Brahma: I am going to fucking St. Peter. Then i am going to fucking tell Shiva to do his fucking dance and destroy the humans.

G-man: Told you so.

The End

P.S: In case you want to go all VHP on my ass, no disrespect meant and all that.

P.P.S: I am really bad at ebonics.