Heavenly Interview.

A theme which sounds suspiciously like the Imperial March (Darth Vader's theme for all ye Star Wars n00bs) plays followed by the logo of the Times Not Now (TNN) news channel. The chief editor of TNN and overall Commander in Chief of the Indian Armed Forces and also the Chief Justice of India, Arnoob presents the Not News Hour.

Arnoob: Welcome to this very special edition of Not News Hour. Today we are going to discuss a serious issue plaguing modern day Indian society: Gotra and Caste in love. Now today we are going to discuss possibly the first case in history.The accused have tried to cover it up for centuries but the hard working crew at TNN through serious investigative journalism has found out the truth behind the cover-up. We bring you the shocking story: "Were Adam and Eve thrown out of the Garden of Eden because they were from different Gotras?" Joining us today in the studio for the first time, please give a warm welcome for God.

G-man: Thank you Arnoob. It's a pleasure to be...

Arnoob: Yes. Forget the pleasantries. Serious questions are being raised about the legitimacy of your claims that Adam and Eve were thrown out of the garden because they ate the forbidden fruit. Many people have claimed that you have thrown out Adam and Eve and ostracized them for being from two different Gotras, the Dust and the rib gotra.

G-man: Absolutely not. Do I have to repeat the story of Genesis again? it is well documented you know?

Arnoob: *points his pen at God* But our team has found out a different story. Ladies and gentleman, let us hear what the Snake has to tell about his version.

[Video Playback]

Snake: Look man. I am a common snake. I was wandering around the garden looking for some mice. I was passing by the apple tree when I saw God appear. God was like: "I am appalled at your romance in spite of being from different Gotras. I shall smite you now foolish children". After that i got out of Eden before he found me. And then when i came back home, i found out that my name has been tarnished by God here. I told them to eat the fruit? Bollocks. My image was completely ruined. I had to do Jaani Dushman for God's sake to try and improve my image. So i said: The truth must come out. I contacted the TNN team.

[End Playback]

G-man: Lies. Blatant lies.

Arnoob: Maybe. But we asked this questions to various prominent personalities. Here's what they had to say about it.

[Video]

Aroondhati Riot [Prominent Human Rights activist, occasional writer and revolutionist]

Yes Arnoob. I do believe that gross injustice has been done to Adam and Eve. These aboriginal humans were thrown out of the majestic Garden of Eden so that the corporate honchos can movie in and exploit the mineral rich region for their own evil gains. God has sold out. This is not a question of Gotra anymore Arnoob. If you look deep down this is the question of Failure of Democracy. I urge these people to stand up for themselves. Viva la Revoluccccccccccccccccccion!

[End]

G-man: What the fuck! What was...

Arnoob: Imma let you finish God but i should warn you that Miss Riot is rarely wrong. Moving on, we have another guest live from our studio in Kolkata. Good Evening miss Banherjee.

Maomata Banherjee [Part time Railway Minister, Full time Communist hunter and 100% Lethal]

Yesh Arnoob. Pleashure to be on your show.

Arnoob: Miss Banherjee what do you think about the allegations that God had ostracized Adam and Eve for being from different Gotras?

Maomata: Absholutely Ridikulush!

G-man: Thank you! I ..

Maomata: I know phor a phakt that God ijh a commnuneesht. Adam and Eve bhere doing naathing bhen thish ebheel communeesht man threw them out. You shee. Thish ebheel runs in all communeeshts. All communeeshts are ebheel. By the way Arnoob, did you bhote for the TMShee thish sunday??

Arnoob: I don't stay in Kolkata.

Maomata: But Shteel?

Arnoob: *blinks*

G-man: *blinks*

Arnoob: Err... Thank you Miss Banherjee. And now we have another very special guest. Please welcome Lolcat Modi!

Lolcat [Fuhrer of the ILP]

Pleasure to be here Arnoob. Let me clarify one thing. I am here to talk about the truth. You see there was no Gotra involved.

G-man: A Ha!

Arnoob: What do you mean Lolcat?

Lolcat: You see it was me who got Adam and Eve thrown out. God as you know supports Yuvraj XI Punjab as Sreesanth is his favorite son. I approached Adam a place in the Kolkata Ride the Knights squad. After all Eden Gardens is their home ground. I also offered Eve a position as a cheerleader. God got pissed. And the rest is history.

G-man: Lies!

Lolcat: Look i have a 10,001 page document to prove whatever i had done was legal. If you do not believe it God, i will be forced to sue you.

G-man: Satan Dammit!

Arnoob: Right. Looks like we can't prove after all what really happened at the Garden.

G-man: Ahhh!

Arnoob: Erm... So that's all for tonight. Tomorrow another Important debate at Not News Hour. "Did Kasab order Mutton Biriyani or Chicken Biriyani?" Thank you and Good Night!

The End